How your limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck

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When was the last time something you really wanted came to you exactly the way you expected it would? I'm guessing almost never.

There's a reason for that, and it's not luck. The path that brings you what you want is almost always one you didn't see coming, which means your ability to receive it depends entirely on whether you can recognize it when it shows up in a shape you weren't watching for.

And that's probably why you've been feeling stuck in your life right now.

Because you're so locked in on the path you think you need to follow that you miss the one that you're meant to follow.

Which means it's time to get out of your own way.

Today I'm going to help you identify what's keeping you stuck and show you how to get out of your own way so you can finally receive what's already being given to you.

Here's the chain, all of it, before we go into any single piece of it. You have a belief about how an outcome is supposed to arrive. That belief acts as a filter on what you perceive as possible, so anything that doesn't match the shape of your expectation gets quietly discarded before you ever consciously evaluate it. Then you keep taking the same action, because the belief only permits one action, and since the action never changes, the outcome you land on afterward never changes either, so you end up calling it a failure of effort when it's actually a failure of perception.

I spent years trapped inside that loop, and every time I tried to move forward I ended up right back where I started, until it finally dawned on me that the reason this kept happening in my life was because I was locked into a belief about how it should happen.

That belief was the thing hiding the path that would have actually worked.

Today I actually had a call with one of our newest clients named James. He's over 400 pounds and he's literally tried everything you can imagine to lose the weight. Diets, programs, tracking apps, every discipline tactic that has ever been sold to a man who wants to change his body. He understands the mechanics well enough already, but understanding has never been the part that translates into results that hold.

And when he came to me, every question he asked was about mechanics, like which program actually works or what it takes to stay consistent past the point where most people quit around week three. All how questions, which tells you where his attention was living.

He was living inside of a little box and if it didn't fit into the how he believed he should get an outcome he ignored it.

That box is the part worth sitting with, because it's not stupidity and it's not laziness. A box like that is built out of everything you've been taught, everything that worked once, and everything that felt safe enough to try again. It's a structure that protects you from uncertainty. The cost is that it also filters out every unfamiliar route, including the one that would have worked.

So halfway through our call I stopped him and I said okay what's your actual goal here? Why does this really matter? And the answer he gave me kind of shifted the perspective on the entire conversation.

He said I want to become a father but I feel like it would be irresponsible to bring a child into the world when I can't show up as the example they deserve.

Which is very respectable.

Notice how far that is from calorie targets. His real goal had nothing to do with restriction and everything to do with identity, and yet every strategy he'd tried was built on the assumption that the way to become that man was to punish himself into a smaller body.

So I asked him does that man go on a diet? My guess is the type of man you want to be is the one who fuels his body for performance.

Everything reorganizes around that one distinction. A diet works from a place of scarcity, taking away and subtracting, managing a deficit while you hope your willpower outlasts your hunger. Being a leader for your children works from abundance instead, fueling the body and adding to it, living from a place of being whole rather than negotiating with a shortage.

And the body responds to the two differently over time, because one is a temporary condition you're enduring and the other is a standard you're holding.

Which means the question becomes would a good father follow a diet and white knuckle his way through restriction? Or would he be the type of man who shows his kids what health looks like as a way of life? And through that perspective his frame shifted completely.

Nothing about his metabolism changed on that call, and his calorie numbers stayed exactly the same as before. What changed is that the path became visible, and it had been sitting there the whole time behind a belief about how weight loss is supposed to happen.

Whatever you believe quietly decides what you're even capable of noticing, filtering out possibility before you ever get a chance to weigh it on its own merits.

Ask yourself honestly whether your first job came the way you'd planned it, or whether your wife or your husband showed up the way you'd pictured them showing up. The money you've earned.

Did it come from where you thought it would? The things that you have in your life almost never come the way that you expect them to.

So why are you holding so tight to the how? You have to realize God is already providing what you need.

There's a verse in Matthew where Jesus says, according to your faith let it be done to you. What's being provided is already sitting there waiting, and your faith is what determines whether you can perceive it.

And so as another example there's a parable in Matthew chapter 13 where the same seed falls on different soil.

The seed is God's provision, and it's identical in every case, but the ground it lands on is what changes everything. Hard soil, and the seed can't take root at all because nothing can penetrate. Rocky soil, and it starts, gets a little momentum, then can't sustain itself. Soil full of thorns and weeds, and it gets choked out by competing beliefs that are pulling for the same resources.

But good soil it receives fully which means the same seed, different belief system, different result.

Look at the Pharisees for the same lesson in human form. The problem they had was they had massive beliefs about how God should work through the law, through their systems. And when God showed up differently than they expected they couldn't see him because their beliefs about how made them blind to what was right in front of them.

Devotion was never their shortage. What they were devoted to was a mechanism, a fixed idea of how God had to move, rather than to God himself.

How many times has God answered your prayers but you didn't see that because it wasn't coming the way you expected or the way that you wanted it to come so you rejected How many times have you let opportunities go or watched doors closed because you were stuck on the how instead of actually receiving the outcome that you were praying for? So here's what I want you to do.

Choose one place in your life where you keep getting stuck, whether that's your body, your money, your marriage, your business, or your purpose. Then look at your actual results in that area, not your intentions or your effort or how hard the last two years have been, because the intentions and the effort aren't the evidence here. The outcomes sitting in front of you are the evidence.

And ask yourself what belief is stopping me from making progress here? What's keeping me stuck? And understand that this is going to require some extreme integrity and you're going to have to be accountable to yourself because you're about to have a really hard conversation about things you've probably been avoiding.

What keeps showing up in your results is telling you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it. If you keep arriving back at the same starting point, that's information about the belief you're operating from, not about how much you want it.

And my guess is you have some belief about how you should be getting the outcome you want that's forcing you to continue to repeat the same action.