Your Beliefs Are Creating Your Reality

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If you want the truth, reality doesn't care about your feelings. Your emotions are real, and they're valid, and they tell you something worth listening to, but they are not the same thing as what's actually happening, since what you feel is only your reading of the situation, not the situation itself.

Most people collapse those two things into one. They feel something, and because the feeling is strong, they treat it as a report on the world rather than a report on themselves.

That's the whole distinction this comes down to.

Most of the time, the thing that's stopping you is you. And the only thing that's creating those limitations is the story that you're telling yourself.

Watch how it shows up in your own speech. You have an instinct, a real desire, something you actually want, and the very next word out of your mouth is but. I want to do this, but I don't have time. I want to do that, but I don't have the money. I want to try this, but I don't have the experience.

That excuse, that limiting belief, that justification, that story is what's stopping you from accomplishing the things in your life that you want to accomplish.

What I noticed in myself is that the belief always arrived dressed as a fact, showing up as reality, as a scheduling constraint, as a budget, as something already decided by somebody other than me, and never once announcing itself honestly as a mere preference.

So I switched the question. Instead of telling myself how I couldn't, I started asking why not, who cares, do it anyway, and I kept asking until the old answer stopped sounding true.

And almost every time, the limitation dissolved on contact, because it was never load bearing. The thing had only ever functioned as a cushion, something I kept underneath me so I wouldn't have to step out into something unfamiliar and risk being bad at it in front of people.

It took me years to actually feel this rather than just understand it as an idea. There is an entire world happening around you, and every single person inside it is running their own interpretation of it, their own set of beliefs about how it works, and none of those interpretations are the world itself, they're closer to lenses that color everything passed through them.

When you make the decision to view the world through the lens of not having limitations, realizing that nothing is personal and nothing is really about you, suddenly you have the ability to actually mold that reality.

The other day, I was in the sauna with a few guys and we started talking about what was happening with Netflix promoting LGBT content in their children's cartoons. They wanted to cancel, but they'd already talked themselves out of it, because their vote doesn't count, because boycotting a company that size is a drop in the bucket, because none of it makes a difference.

I kept it simple: I refuse to believe that my actions, my decisions, my votes and my dollar are meaningless.

Yeah, sure, maybe if I cancel my Netflix subscription that's not gonna make any difference to the grand scheme of Netflix success, and honestly that part is probably fair.

But if I say nothing I do matters, the decisions I make aren't having an impact, then what I'm doing is relinquishing ownership over my life and my outcomes to the world around me.

And that belief doesn't stay in one place. You can't hold "my choices don't move anything" about Netflix and then set it down before you get to your career, your body, your marriage. Instead it trails behind you into every room you walk into, becoming the default setting on every decision you make, and after enough years of that you're a passenger in your own life wondering why nothing ever shifts.

The reason why I choose to take complete ownership over everything in my life isn't because I wanna take the blame. It's not a moral position and it's not me trying to look tough about my own failures.

It's because I refuse to allow anything but myself to dictate my outcomes, to dictate my life, to have power over me and what I do.

People hear ownership and they picture a man flogging himself for things outside his control, apologizing for the economy, for the weather, for other people's behavior, which misses the point entirely.

So ownership is less about radically falling on your sword for everything and it's more about saying I refuse to relinquish control over my outcomes to anything but me.

And the second that you start viewing the world in that way saying I'm in control, my life is my own to lead, my reality is dictated through my own perspectives is the same second that you get the freedom and the ability to mold that reality.

Try this on yourself right now, because it exposes the machinery faster than anything else I know.

Do you think that you could become a millionaire? Most people, if you ask them that question, they're gonna say yes, and chances are so did you, at least in your head, the second you read the question.

Now, let me ask you this, how long will it take? My guess is that answer is probably five years or more.

Which raises the obvious follow up: why not next year, why not next month, why not, honestly, tomorrow?

What's stopping you from becoming a millionaire today? And when you ask it that way and honestly answer the question from a place of integrity, it's very easy to find out what's limiting you from having that financial success.

The answer comes out as a list of prerequisites. You need a certain amount of capital first, or you need to finish some degree first, or you need the right connections, the right timing, the right market. Every item on that list is a belief wearing the costume of a requirement.

Well, if that's the case, why aren't you actively working towards putting those things in place? You see, when you start pressing the topic, it becomes very clear what's stopping you from having the things you actually want.

Now, of course, I'm not gonna sit here and say that it's realistic for you to wake up tomorrow and just be a millionaire without actually putting action behind it.

The actual claim is narrower than that, and harder to escape. When you have the limiting belief that you can't, you never will, because the belief comes first and the effort follows the belief. Nobody makes a genuine, sustained, uncomfortable effort at something they've privately decided is impossible for them.

The same test works on your health, if you want to try it there instead.

Let's say as an example, you haven't been making it to the gym, you're out of shape and you know you need to make a change.

Okay, well, what's stopping you from going to the gym today? Why not go right now? You have the time to be sitting here watching this video.

Why do you even need to go to the gym? If you wanna be healthy and in shape, what's stopping you from fixing your diet right now? Stop eating the shit that you're putting in your mouth.

You know what you're supposed to eat, high protein, low carb, use carbs to fuel activity, and don't put processed foods in your mouth, and stay on top of your water intake too. None of that requires a gym membership, a trainer, a program, or a Monday.

You tell yourself you don't have the time. You tell yourself you don't have the energy, and you promise, again, that next week is when it finally starts.

But the truth is those are just lies that you continue to repeat so that you don't have to actually do the thing.

There's a version of this in scripture that people misread constantly. When you pray for something, you get what you need, not what you asked for.

Pray for love and what comes back is the lessons required to love yourself, because most people who feel unloved have never built that relationship internally, and until they do they'll hand every insecurity they own to whoever shows up.

Pray for money and you don't win the lottery. You get handed the opportunity to build the skills, the knowledge, the resources and the relationships that produce wealth. The process is the gift, because the process is what builds you into someone capable of holding the outcome.

You don't become a millionaire by waking up tomorrow and just being a millionaire. You become a millionaire by doing the things millionaires do, which means the action comes before the outcome, always, without exception.